Stupid girls?

24 Feb

Since this is an honest blog, I feel like I should start to kill all my ghosts as soon as possible. But where to start? I thought of some stuff yesterday and why they still bother me some years later after they occurred. I guess it is because I at the time felt trampled on, bullied and like a ghost to some ppl. AND the most important thing; I never got any answers why I was treated the way I was.

I guess the main thing is that I surrounded myself with immature ppl that couldn’t handle stuff. I remember vividly how a former close person talked good about a girl in his circle of friends. “She is really nice, fun and outgoing. You’d like her!”, he’d say. But the first time I met her, it was at a party, she said hi to everybody without me. In fact, she stormed pasted me like she was the fucking queen of England or something. During the whole evening she ignored me, and even acted like a drama queen in front of me, just to get the attention. Surprised I was that I was the only one that actually saw through this behaviour! Afterwards I realize I was a threat to her and she tried to push me back simply because she wanted me to feel like an ass, which is… so immature?

The more I come to think of it, it’s almost exclusively girls that has behaved like asses towards me. The guys always seem to be more laid back and accepting, but I guess it is the threat some immature girls feel when they see me, and they have to start competing instantly. And I was never ever wanting to compete, just out to have a good time and talking to ppl.

The selfish me enjoyed seeing this and it kinda strengthen me, because what was it their behaviour actually told me? Instead of trying to break me down I started to think as myself as that threat, that my beauty was beyond their reach and that they never could compete with my intellect.

But how funny, I thought these ppl were so stupid. If they just had met me with an open mind I would’ve really liked them. But I guess some ppl never will get things right.

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